Over and over again it is proven to me that within self love lies the key to food and body freedom and the fuel to live a happy, fulfilled, and meaningful life.
I’ve also come to learn that the relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have, especially if you want successful, meaningful, and connected relationships with others.
Before we get into what self love is, why it matters, and why the only growth and change that lasts is growth that comes from a place of deep self love and worth…I want to let you know what to expect in the coming weeks!
Through my work and experience of leading myself and 100’s of women out of the deep pits of binge and emotional eating I’ve seen it all…
I’ve seen years and years of attempted change fueled by fear, criticism, and self rejection take women (myself included) back to the SAME defeating cycles of self abuse and sabotage over and over again…
…no matter what we tried, or how hard we worked at it.
I’ve also seen MIRACLES produced in women’s lives when they’ve chose love, and chose it over and over daily until it became a part of who they are…
I’ve seen marriages fixed, baby’s born, dreams fulfilled, massive life shifts,weight released, transformations therapists and “experts” would say are impossible take place, eating disorders left behind, body images mended, and missions born when women (myself included) have pursued their growth from a deep place of love, respect for themselves, and connection.
This stuff is powerful, that’s why we are dedicating an entire month to it.
Here’s what to expect this month:
Here’s What We’ll Be Covering Each Week:
Today/Week 1: Self Love: What It Is and Isn’t & Why Growth MUST Come From a Place of Self Love to Last
Next Week/Week 2: Working Through Limiting Beliefs the Stop Self Love + Actionable Practices for Self Love and Care
Valentines Day/Week 3: Knowing Your Worth + Sharing Your Love with Others and The World
February 21st/Week 4: Allowing Love In: Releasing Comparison and Isolation to Start Living
February 28th/Week 5: Love and Power In Numbers: The Magic of Sisterhood and Support
So, what does self love even mean and why does it matter?
When I’m talking self love, I’m talking the unconditional love, compassion and respect for every part of yourself, your dark and your light, that is so deep, so beautiful and so all-encompassing that it nourishes every cell of your being.
Since you’re completely nourished, and so filled up with love, you only choose situations, relationships, opportunities, and actions towards yourself and others that are a reflection of this unconditional love, compassion, and respect.
Since you’re so connected to yourself and the force that created you, any situation, goal, giving, pursuit, or relationship is complimentary or an addition to your life..not something that’s being sought after to fill a void, seek approval, or make you feel worthy.
What self love is not…
Self love is not selfish. Self love and showing up for yourself daily is one of the least selfish things you can do. How can you expect to show up in the world and give love to others if you’re not taking care of yourself first? Self love means you’ll be so filled that you can deliver in every other aspect of your life, as well as settle for nothing less than the very best for yourself and those you love.
Below you’ll see a few other things that self love is not (we cover these in depth in week 6 of our Beating Binge Eating Blueprint)…
1) Trying to please others and giving so much of yourself away that your tank is empty and you have nothing left to give yourself. This one usually results in exhaustion, resentment towards others, and feeling unlovable or broken unless you’re pleasing someone else.
2) A strong focus on self-confidence and achievement, so much so that your hustle for achievement has you fail to tend to yourself with compassion and self-care. This one usually results in burning out and feeling like a failure.
3) Self-awareness and observation but no or very little self-trust or belief in yourself to make your dreams a reality or to overcome what you’re going through. This usually results in withholding self-expression, not putting your gifts to use, not taking risks that will benefit you, feeling stuck, wanting more, and feeling empty or like something is always missing.
4) Self-pleasure and fun without honor, self-respect and knowing your worth. Ever heard of looking for love in all the wrong places? This one is that. Hell yes to fun and pleasure, but honoring yourself through the process is key! If not, you’re left with unhealthy relationships and emotional gaps that you’re trying to fill with anything but what will actually fill you up (hint hint: self love)
5) Self-esteem and strength, but not standing for yourself and what your worth in relationship or life situations. This one typically looks like success on the outside but self-destructive on the inside, or having it all together in career but settling for crumbs in relationships (both romantic and friendships).
6) Waiting to love yourself until you are _____. This looks like, I love myself but I know I will love myself more and accept myself when I’m the perfect weight, or when I have the perfect job, or when I achieve this. Perfection never comes. This one results in constant waiting to live, constant disappointment, and constant never feeling good enough.
Do you recognize yourself in any of the above? My paradigm has changed form many times. I used to fall into category one, taking care of everyone else and so worried about people pleasing that I neglected myself and my needs, as well as my self-expression. Then I got so burned that I closed off and switched to the total opposite, number two. No one could mess with me but I was hustling so hard that my self-care suffered. Category six has popped its ugly little head up at times too…I’m sure you’ve heard that voice too! You know the, I’ll be happy when… or I’ll do this for myself when…
All of the above are equally detrimental to your overall happiness. They rob you of joy, they keep you stuck, and the keep you missing out on so much that this beautiful life has to offer.
What does this have to do with your relationship with your body and food?
Self-sabotage is born from the list above. You know at your core that you are worth more than anything in those six categories above, so if you’re playing small and stuck in any of them then it’s very likely that you’ll reach out to something outside of you for the love you’re craving…
…or to help stuff down your true desires and what you really know you deserve…
…or to numb it all together.
The pain from self-neglect can be unbearable at times so why not reach for something like food that will stop the pain if even for just a few moments, right?
I get it, I’ve been there! If you’re reading this, your something you reach for is probably food. No amount of food in the world will fill up a self-love deficit. Nothing will actually.
No shopping, no drugs, no sex, no alcohol, no career, no car, no house, no lover, no anything will ever fill a self-love deficit. You will be left searching, when all along the answers to your happiness have been inside of you the entire time.
Don’t beat yourself up. Society sets us up to operate from the list of the six above. Most of us live our lives as if we don’t deserve any of our own time or energy. We work jobs we hate and stress ourselves out as we are serving someone else’s dream. We rarely say “no” to things that we don’t have time for, things that bring us anxiety, or even worse…things that don’t line up with who we are authentically just to please others.
We do this for a while, and it all seems to be ok. Then there we are… sitting with diagnosed depression, panic attacks, full blown anxiety, looking for pleasure in things outside of ourselves to distract us or numb ourselves, eating disorders, “ADD”, burn out, overwhelm, drinking 4 cups of coffee just to get through the day, sadness, feeling empty inside, you name it…
and then we try to change, but we do it from a place of self rejection, judgement, and criticism, and it’s not sustainable.
Which can reaffirm your story of not being worth it, capable, and enough…
And your efforts to change come from a place of lack, a place of trying to get “there” to feel worthy…
and you never feel it…
so you spiral…
and the cycle repeats, and repeats, and repeats.
You’ll live your life in this defeating cycle…
You’ll search for answers in books, courses, google, significant others, and never quite find the missing piece to the puzzle…
That worth has to come from within,
that love has to come from you,
that respect has to be given by you…
Before you can really appreciate it fully from anyone else.
You have to take you wherever you go, so you might as well make peace with yourself, so when you get to where you want to be you can love and appreciate it from a place of wholeness…
and also so you can enjoy those moments in-between getting “there” because that when life truly happens.
The cool thing is, you don’t have to have this thing totally down to find freedom.
You can find freedom through your journey to self love, and this month we will show you how!
Join us in the Food Freedom Fighter Tribe for a Facebook LIVE today at 12:00 pm EST (it’s a private group), request us here: bit.ly/foodfreedomfighters
Stay tuned for next Tuesday, where we’ll be talking all about limiting beliefs that can get in the way of self love and how to put that love into action so you’re filled up to share your love with others and the world!
Cheers to a month filled with loving YOU!
Health & Love,
Welcome to BeatingBingeEating.com! I’m Brittany Brown.
My goal is to transform the health and happiness of the world, starting with you. You were not put on this earth to struggle. I’m here to show you how to finally feel at home in your body and end your struggle with food and your body for good. This mission was born out of my own passion-driven breakdown. Here’s my story...Read More