Here’s a Universal truth. You are a human being, and you have needs. Having those needs doesn’t mean you’re weak or incapable. It just means that you’re normal!
Food is one of those basic needs. It keeps you alive, nourished, and energized. But when it comes to meeting every need we have as human beings, nobody lives by food alone.
But still, oftentimes when we feel a void that we can’t name…we go to food! In these moments, it’s all too easy to reach for some chips to make it better until you figure it out.
If this sounds like you, take comfort that you’re not the only one who has ever turned to “comfort food” to fill a mystery black hole of “needing” something that you can’t quite figure out how to fill.
It doesn’t mean you’re undisciplined, weak, or flawed. It only means you have an opportunity to choose a more fulfilling solution from here on out!
You need to know what you’re dealing with first. That means first recognizing your core human needs. We’re talking about what your entire being needs–mind, body, and spirit need.
The next step is making a plan to support those needs without relying only on pizza or ice cream!
Watch this week’s video where we’re going deep into core human needs. I’ll help you decipher your true motivation when you reach for a snack, and help you choose a better solution!
Now, I have to give out shout-out to Tony Robbins, since he developed the “6 core human needs” concept. I’ve expanded on his work and looked at these needs through a food-focused lens bellow…
Follow along, see which of the needs you might need to address, and learn how to meet them more effectively than a snack ever could.
Core Need #1 & 2: Certainty/stability AND uncertainty/variety. It sounds counterintuitive, but humans need both stability and excitement in their lives.
Those contradicting needs show up in curious ways when it comes to food!
For example, if you’re looking for security and stability, you might go the “comfort food” route. That means strategies like grabbing a candy bar when you feel pangs of stress because you want to go to what you know.
Then again, you might go through times when you feel lost or powerless. That might mean trying to orchestrate the one area of your life that you feel you can control–your food.
Yes, we’re talking about diets. As painful as they can be, diets can at least give you a sense of control when your life feels chaotic.
Now, what about cravings for excitement and variety?
Let’s say you’ve been dieting so hard that you’ve created a sort of food prison for yourself. That might trigger you to rebel against your own rules, just to shake things up.
For example, maybe you binge eat when nobody’s looking just for excitement. Or you hide the candy bar wrappers or drive-thru bags from your secret indulgences because it makes you feel like a rebel.
Believe me, I’ve done ALL these things!
Sure, they might have met my needs for stability or excitement for a second or two. But in the end, they only led to destructive go-to habits.
Now, what if you could find stability and variety without resorting to scouring the cabinets?
If you’re feeling out of control…how can you bring more order to your life? Any rituals or routines you can add in to ground you? Anything that’s been hovering over your head you can get done quickly or let go of all together?
And for variety – how about mixing up your day with a little bit of fun and play instead of tearing into a bag of cookies?
Find both stability and excitement with supportive alternatives like these. You’ll end up a lot more satisfied than you might’ve been with food solutions!
Core Need #3: Love and connection. On a surface level, if we’re desiring love and connection and not getting it – we may go to food for that comfort or connection because we are missing that connection with others our ourselves.
And on a deeper level when we take a look at dieting or wanting the perfect diet size, our desire for love can motivate everything we do.
Everyone who starts a diet hopes to change their body. But this is when you have to get real about your deepest motivations to do so.
In other words, do you want to change your body for yourself, or is the desire coming from some place deeper?
It’s a common belief that losing weight will get you acceptance or love that you desire in your life.
Whether that be from friends and family, romantic interests, or society at large, approval seeking runs rampant in our culture. And, there’s nothing wrong with this. We as humans have a need to belong!
But it can get difficult when we base a lot of what we think of ourselves on what we think others want us to be. And how we think they want us to look.
Being loved and accepted is a universal human desire. We’re inherently wired for it.
And so many of us equate being loved with being a certain size.
So take an honest inventory here: Do you seek to change your body so you’ll receive love, connection, or community?
If that’s a “yes,” how does this change your relationship with food?
Be gentle with yourself. Know that you’re not alone if you feel this way.
You are worth so much more than a number on the scale or pant size. There’s nothing wrong with desiring weight loss, but withholding love until you get “there” is going to keep you further from where you want to be.
If these points resonate with you, then take some time to explore how you can show yourself love this week! Brainstorm some ideas, pick the one that you’re most excited about, and let us know what it is in the comments below!
Core Need #4: Significance. The need for significance is a core human need, even if it feels icky to admit we all desire it.
Oftentimes, we feel we need to act, be, or look a certain way to receive it.
For example…In the past I thought I had to look like the “healthy” one. The one who works out, eats right, and looks the part. I sought significance by trying to look like I thought I should, and I took it to the extreme.
But the struggle I went through to look the part became an identity for me. It was an identity that I held onto for over a decade. That I literally killed my body and my mental and emotional well-being to achieve.
Now, I’m not saying that anyone who struggles with food does it for attention. But consider that sometimes, we find the significance we crave within the struggle to get it or in the results (that are oftentimes temporary at best).
Take a hard look here – this one was difficult for me to spot! But explore – is looking a certain way, being stuck in the struggle with certain friends,
Core Need #5 & 6: Growth and contribution. Next to significance, we also wish for purpose. It’s the need to grow, evolve, and to contribute to the world. And when this part of us is shut down for too long, we might feel like something is “missing” without even knowing it.
Let me assure you, your need to grow and contribute can’t be met by cake, candy, or pizza (if only, right)?
So in the spirit of meeting your needs, shift your focus…Reconnect with the things that inspire passion in your life, and run with them!
If you haven’t quite figured out your passions yet, set out on a quest to discover them. That alone is an exciting adventure of growth and expansion!
If you’re here reading this, I know that you’re a growth-oriented person. You want to feel fulfilled and connected. You have a big heart and you want to make the world a better place.
Right now, be sure you are taking care of your needs first! When you’re not and you’re in survival mode, growth and contribution can feel a bit difficult to focus on.
Fill your own cup up with love, and then pour that love out into the world!
If you’re knee-deep in the binge and emotional eating struggle, do yourself this honor.
Take a deep breath, take a step back, and consider each of these needs.
Are you taking care of your core human needs with love, or are you filling the void with food and hoping for the best?
The key is fulfilling your needs without turning to self-sabotaging acts like binging.
So right now, feel into all four of these needs that we talked about. Which one needs the most love in your world?
Leave a comment, and let’s get a conversation going!
You never know who might feel the way you do and appreciate your vulnerability in sharing. Maybe you have an easy time in an area that someone else struggles with. Maybe that’s also true the other way around!
If you’re looking for more support here, we’ve got you covered! I have a free training at the link below that’ll help you take your relationship with food from chaos to peace…
Learn how to fulfill your needs supportive ways, and stop putting the pressure on food to do it for you.
It’s a huge step on the path to what we call Food Freedom Forever, and you’re going to love it!
And P.S. at the end of the training that you can access in the link above, we’ll share an opportunity to set up a complimentary call with us! We’re here to support you, so grab that training and get instant access today!
Welcome to BeatingBingeEating.com! I’m Brittany Brown.
My goal is to transform the health and happiness of the world, starting with you. You were not put on this earth to struggle. I’m here to show you how to finally feel at home in your body and end your struggle with food and your body for good. This mission was born out of my own passion-driven breakdown. Here’s my story...Read More
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