Someone asked me recently, “Brittany, how can I love my body and feel confident if I’m overweight when all I can think about is how bad I look or how pissed I am at myself for gaining all my weight I lost back?”

The simple answer: Through consistent loving action.

In this blog you’ll get the why and how to support you on your journey.

Building a Confident and Secure Relationship with your Body

Let’s pretend you are in a relationship with your body.

How would you characterize your current relationship?

Are you consistent with your partner? Do you withdraw? Do you speak kindly to your partner? Do you follow through on your promises? What do you think about your partner? What do you focus on when thinking or looking at your partner? Do you demonstrate your love with action and follow through? Do you honor your partner’s needs and wishes?

Let’s say a majority of these answers are no or not really… In a real life relationship would you expect your partner to stay and give you 100% back?

I can’t imagine that being fair. Let’s take it a step further…

Say you just started shifting your mindset with this partner but you still struggled with the action aspect of things. Mentally you feel like you love your partner, you even praise them, but the follow-through and consistent action of honoring them and demonstrating love and appreciation is still missing.

If this was a real-life romantic relationship… would it be enough to just say nice things to your partner? To tell them how wonderful they are and how you feel about them but not follow through with your promises?  Make commitments and have great intentions to do the best thing for your partner but not follow through?

Nope. It may work temporarily but inconsistent action wouldn’t be enough to solidify the union and keep them present and engaged in your life.

It could even really hurt your partner.

I’ve actually been on the other side of a romantic relationship like that, and despite the love and incredible connection the inconsistency and lack of action was not enough to solidify the partnership to keep me around.

The truth is, for a loving relationship, it’s all important. Your focus, your perception, your beliefs, your thoughts, your words and showing up for all of this through consistent loving action.

The action though, that’s really the key. Good intentions are great but with little follow-through your body is not going to support you in the way it’s capable of.

Action is so important because it represents your unconsious beliefs and commitments. Even if you are thinking all of these wonderful things, and conceptually you get the concept of “body love” or “body confidence”, if you are not acting upon it there is a ROOT cause that is holding you back. This needs to be realized and re-programmed for long-term change and success. As my coach says, “Your reality reflects your beliefs.” 

A bit abstract, but I hope you get my point. What’s really cool about your body is it’s always showing up for you. It’s always trying to achieve balance, to protect you and to keep you going regardless of the damage. It makes sure you breathe while you sleep, stops cuts from bleeding, heals wounds and broken bones, finds ways to beat illnesses and if you’re a woman, she even creates life.

Just like in any relationship, there are plenty of signs that things are going astray before the breakdown. Your body gives you ample warnings before breakdown. To show you that you’re not giving enough on your side of the relationship she might act out with…

-Weight changes

-Hormonal fluctuations

-Mood swings

-Fatigue and lack of energy

-Skin blemishes

-Cravings

-Digestive upset

-Bad breathe

-Thirst

-Brain fog

Don’t ignore the signs. These aren’t things to “fix”. These are signs that something else if going on below the surface. Through a little confidence boosting, self-love and self-care all of the above can shift.

The most important part: If your partner is a priority, you have to take action NOW. In a real life relationship could you withhold love from your partner until your circumstance are “perfect”? No, it’d cause turmoil and if it got bad enough, the relationship would end. So, does it make sense to withhold love from your body until she’s at the “perfect” weight? Not at all. If you want your body to show up for you, you must show up for her daily.

The truth is, it’s not the weight or physique you’re chasing, its the way you feel when you’re at your ideal physique that you’re after.

What if you could feel that way right now? Here’s how:

A 7-Prong Approach to Boosting your Body Confidence and Embracing Self-Love

1) Accept and Forgive: A quote on love and forgiveness from Dr. King Jr states, “He who is devoid of the power to forgive, is devoid of the power to love.”

It’s easy to have hate towards our body for not being where we want her, but it is not our body’s fault. Our body simply reacts to what it is given. Compulsive eating and negative thoughts about our body are rooted in fear. We must shift this to love.

A great exercise for this is to write a letter to your body to forgive her, apologize for all the wrong doing, let your body know everything you appreciate about her and everything you love about her. Then write a letter back to yourself from the perspective of your body full of apologizing, forgiving and acknowledging you for all that you’ve done and have committed to do for yourself.

2) Take an Inventory: Look at what has worked to set you up for success with honoring your body, and what hasn’t. When you start seeing what hasn’t worked in your relationship with you body in the past, go deeper. What’s the fear? What’s the commitment that’s holding you back? What’s the pay-off you’re getting from treating your partner poorly. The more awareness you have around your patterns, the easier healing will be.  When you start realizing what’s worked, slowly start implementing more of that daily.

3) Shift your Focus: Focusing on what works instead of what doesn’t is critical. Where attention flows, energy goes. Stand in the mirror every morning and say 10 things out-loud that you love and appreciate about your body and/or yourself. Look yourself in the eyes while doing it. I recommend looking yourself in the eyes for at least a minute before and a minute after the exercise. Really connect with your soul here. If the mirror makes you feel uncomfortable, start with writing these in your journal.

4) Transform your Story: How would the confident you look, talk, act and feel? What would you say? How would you dress? How would you adorn your body? Start acting as if you’re already there. This is NOT fake it until you make it, this is do it until you become it. This part of you is the highest version of you, you are just giving this part of you permission to come out now.

5) Honor your Body: Instead of focusing on what you shouldn’t do for your body, what you need to take away, what you have to do to force it into submission and so on, focus on what you can do to honor your body and support her. Making a healthy choice because you’re honoring your body has a much different energy and much better long-term and sustainable effect than making a healthy choice because you are scared of gaining weight or losing control. Remember, we beat fear with love, not more fear.

6) Listen to your Body: If you listen closely she’ll tell you everything you need to know. It’s very easy to be out of our bodies, in our heads and not really FEEL what’s going on. If I asked you to feel the top of your feet right now could you? If you were upset and I said “where do you feel it in your body” could you tell me? If I said “What is your body hungry for” would you really be able to check-in and know? Start asking yourself questions like these to re-establish the connection. Your body is a brilliant guide for what works and what doesn’t in your life.

7) Daily Loving Movement and Rituals: This will help you deepen #6. Movement doesn’t have to be hard and torturous. It can be about re-establishing the connection to your body and feeling good. I share a lot of these rituals with my clients in our coaching programs but to give you an example of what I’m talking about, I will share with you how I start my day (on most days) to re-establish the connection to my body and get focused, centered and connected for the day ahead.

I wake up and take about 5-10 minutes to slowly get up. This is infused with gratitude and prayer. 5-10 minutes is then spent on a visioning exercise where I not only look at and listen to different aspirations, but I cultivate the feelings I desire from achieving these things and let myself feel them in the present. I then complete 5-10 minutes of sensual movement where I quiet my mind and get into my body as much as possible. Here you will find an awesome YouTube video from one of my favorites, Liz Dialto, with an example of Sensual Movement that will Help you With Body Confidence. I’m not rigorous with this movement; I simply move in ways that feel amazing during this time and it really helps me get into my body and heart, as well as reconnect. Next I check-in and if I have a lot of fears or anxiety coming up I journal, if things are smooth I typically go right into “Shifting my Focus” (step 2). This is followed by a healthy balanced meal, typically consisting of fruit, nut butter, greens and eggs or a raw protein smoothie. I find that I feel best when I start my day with a mostly raw meal, and I like doing this because when I’m on the go during the day it sometimes can be a bit difficult to get as many greens in.

Not every day is perfect but starting my day in a space of honor and reverence for myself, my body and the divine sets the tone for the day in an incredible way. I know that no matter what happens, I took that time for myself and my body, as well as established a strong foundation for success.

If you need any support in this area, we are here for you!

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Love,
Brittany

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Health & Love,

PS: I have more information and action steps about body confidence and self-love in my free eBook. Be sure to take a look at it 🙂