So there you are, rocking your life, feeling in your power with your food…
Then you pop onto Instagram and BOOM. There’s that super-buff Instafamous fitness model in a bikini on a white-sand beach. Everything about the post is perfection.
You thought you were looking good. But this person is flawless. And just like that, you’re back that gut-punch of “not enoughness.”
“Comparisonitis” strikes again!
It’s that familiar trap that kicks soul-crushing self-doubt into high gear. And it brings along sidekicks like guilt, shame, frustration, confusion and feeling like you need to change.
It can hit you at any moment, no matter who you are. And with the advent of Social Media, the online highlight reel runs 24/7. So it’s pretty tough to escape the constant bombardment of perfection, no matter where you are.
How do you stay in your lane and celebrate your own wins when it feels like everyone else is doing just a little bit better than you?
Today I’m sharing how to manage comparison. I’ll tell you why we fall into its clutches despite our better judgment, and how it can affect anyone at any time (no matter how “successful” you might be).
And of course, I’ll share ways that you can stop judging your behind-the-scenes life by someone else’s highlight reel parade, and start living YOUR life again!
Ready to take your power back and be unapologetically YOU, no matter what all the “cool kids” are doing? Let’s dive in!
So where does this need to be perfect come from, and what triggers us to measure our worth by other people’s appearances?
It starts with believing that what you see is always what you get. And whether it’s “IRL” or on the internet, that is rarely the case! But as we all know, there is plenty of “evidence” out there that the rest of the world is a lot happier, prettier, thinner, and more successful than everyone else.
Love it or hate it, Social Media has changed the way we communicate and relate to each other. And likewise, many of the “socials” seem to show only one side of life–the seemingly flawless one.
There’s this portrayal of perfection, especially on outlets where pictures are worth a thousand characters.
Scroll through your Instagram feed, for example, and you’ll see post after pretty post of idealized lives. From A-list Hollywood actresses to Instagram celebs, everyone looks like perfection incarnate.
But what if I told you that behind the pretty pictures, there is plenty of angles, lighting, contouring, and makeup (not to mention photoshopping)?
Add to that the “big guns” like plastic surgery, facial fillers, and Botox. Before you know it, Instagram models look like goddesses among normal women.
Now here’s the thing: I’m not knocking anyone for going with the cosmetic enhancement.
After all, I am a big fan of bronzer on my cheekbones and love playing with makeup. I will be the first to tell you that I’ve had Botox in my forehead – it raises my eyebrows a bit and I love it!
But make no mistake, I don’t partake out of fear or self-rejection. I do it because I genuinely enjoy a game of “dress-up” and have a “why not” feeling towards botox because why not 🙂
I find it all fun and inspiring – and if I ever don’t, I will check myself.
What I am saying is that it’s not fair to judge yourself by what you see on Social Media, TV, or the movies. No matter how idyllic it looks, behind every Insta post, there’s a human being with a complicated life.
I have days when I can barely get out of bed. Then there are days when I’m raring to go, thrilled to be doing my life’s work. And I’ve had every kind of day in between. I bet you have, too.
We all have our bad days. No exceptions. Not even for the Instafamous.
There are over seven billion people on the planet. We all have messy and complex lives. Nobody knows what the heck they’re doing half the time, and the other half we’re probably winging it.
And you know what? That’s OK. That’s just life on planet earth.
No matter what crosses your path, either online or “IRL,” what you see doesn’t tell the whole story. Because that highlight reel isn’t even REAL. It’s fun and energizing, of course. But definitely take it with a grain of salt–and don’t take it to heart!
Of course, there is a flip side to getting taken in by the perfection parade. And it might surprise you!
What if I told you that the things that you respond to in other people–the things that trigger envy and lack-based feelings–are the very qualities that you already possess?
Let’s say someone walks into a room. She radiates joy, confidence, and grace. And that twinge of envy hits you almost instantaneously.
But suppose that this was a good sign? What if you were responding that way because you recognized that same greatness within yourself–and you simply need to set it free?
It’s a phenomenon called “projection.” And it means that other people mirror back your qualities to you, whether you know they’re there or not.
The next time someone triggers your insecurities, flip your perspective. Instead of believing that they’re better than you, remember that they’re just projecting the awesomeness that you already have.
Believe it or not, comparison can be turned into inspiration, if you choose to see others as a projection of who you truly are!
So how do you get from here to there? How do you drop those feelings of inadequacy and start owning your greatness?
It’s not about slapping on a band-aid of positive thinking and calling it good. You need to acknowledge the parts of you that feel insecure first. You need to be kind to yourself and heal what’s going on inside of you. That’s what causes the genuine and lasting changes.
Here’s what I mean by that…
Maybe there was a time in the past when you felt alone, unloved, and neglected. And that earlier version of you decided that changing her outer situation was the way to getting your needs met. You might’ve believed that you needed to lose weight, look pretty, be richer or more successful, and then you’d finally get the love, connection, and peace you desired.
Of course, that doesn’t work. I know that from years of personal experience.
Years ago, I was a frequent competitor in fitness competitions. And even though I was super lean, had those shredded abs, and was in amazing shape, I wouldn’t let anyone–not even my own mom–take pictures of me.
Even though I technically “looked good,” I didn’t want to see it.
I obsessed about “fixing” my body to make me feel more secure. But I still despised myself to the point that I wouldn’t allow anyone to take a picture of me.
I struggled to change how I looked in hopes of loving myself. And yet all I did was continue to reject myself.
External changes won’t take away internal pain. Nothing will shift for real until you come face-to-face with the part of you that needs healing.
I’m talking about getting in touch with that scared inner child. The one who is afraid she won’t get the love, attention, and connection that she needs.
And no amount of weight loss, money, or status can do that for you.
Sure, if you suddenly become that Instagram model or fitness competition queen, you might get an initial boost of validation. But if you don’t take on the insecurities on the inside, they’ll be right there with you even if you’re on the cover of Cosmopolitan. Guaranteed.
So be kind to yourself. Love that inner child and let her know she’s not alone. And remember that outside appearances are all well and good, but they only take you so far.
If you’re feeling triggered by the parade of perfect images and idealized lives, just remember three things…
First, no matter how ideal someone else’s life looks, there’s always more to them than what shows up on Facebook or Instagram.
Second, when comparison-based triggers threaten to steal your joy, remember they’re showing you the qualities in others that you already have in yourself. So in a backhanded way, that’s actually a good sign!
And finally, remember that your inner feelings always trump your outer circumstances. If you’re not OK with who you are on the inside, losing weight, having more money, or getting more “likes” won’t bring you the peace you crave.
Now, trust me–you couldn’t have convinced me that it’s “what’s inside that counts” back when I started this journey. So if this all sounds like a lot of positive thinking claptrap, I know how you feel!
But over the years, I learned a lot about perceptions, comparisons, and projections. And it was a big-time game changer for my body image and self-confidence.
And now, I want to share what I’ve learned with you! So that’s why I made you this special gift.
At the link below, grab my free training! It’ll show you how to let go of comparison, step into your power, and connect your inner peace to your outer beauty, once and for all.
Stop chasing the superficial things that won’t make you happy, and find the inner joy and empowerment that you really want. (And let the rest follow from there!)
Grab that free training right here!
Have you ever fallen down the rabbit hole of comparison? Believe me, it happens to everyone at some point! Share in the comments below your experiences with that self-judgment comparison trap, and let me know how I can support you in breaking free for good!
Welcome to BeatingBingeEating.com! I’m Brittany Brown.
My goal is to transform the health and happiness of the world, starting with you. You were not put on this earth to struggle. I’m here to show you how to finally feel at home in your body and end your struggle with food and your body for good. This mission was born out of my own passion-driven breakdown. Here’s my story...Read More
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