Ever feel like if you just had that ONE thing you’d be happy?
If your body went to the perfect weight…
If your partner treated you how you wanted to be treated…
If you had that…
THEN you’d be happy?
I lived like this for YEARS.
I thought happiness would be found in getting my body to a certain size and then I got there, and TRUE happiness, bliss, and freedom were no where to be found.
In fact, when I was my leanest, I was the most miserable I’ve been in my entire life.
I’ve also thought it was my job that was holding me back keeping me from my dreams…that if I just got a new job or had enough money to start my business then I’d stop procrastinating and give it my all….
Nope, procrastination and the highs and lows still came even once I launched my business.
I’ve thought a dream relationship would make me happy, and then I found someone who literally worshiped the ground I walked on, and guess what…
all I looked for were faults and I projected my internal bull shit onto him even though he was great. It’s not the right relationship for us regardless today, but I didn’t bring my best because I hadn’t done the internal work yet…
I was looking for him to do something for me that I hadn’t yet done for myself.
Then I thought it was money. If I just had the money to get the home I wanted, to have the experiences I wanted, to go where I wanted to go, then I’d truly feel free.
Our company 10xed, I got the nicer condo, travel was more available and guess what…
the same internal struggles still followed me.
I was literally living in the same energy that I was when I was living on a couch struggling to find clients no matter what changed on the outside.
This left me finding an escape in things that made the cycle even worse…partying, procrastination, food…always looking for something outside of myself to not face what was happening internally and not matter what changed in my circumstance nothing changed in my internal world for any length of time until I did the work!
Here’s the harsh truth…
YOU HAVE TO TAKE YOU WHEREVER YOU GO.
No external circumstance is going to fill a void inside.
No number on the scale is going to bring you consistent internal peace past a brief fleeting moment of “happiness” if you don’t have that peace regardless of what the number says.
No relationship is going to make you feel special if you don’t make yourself feel special.
No mansion is going to make you feel accomplished if you can’t be alone with yourself in the large empty bedroom.
None of the above guaranteed to be permanent either, so why stake all your happiness on something that is so fleeting?
Why do we wait to live fully until we are “there” and miss out on all the precious goodness that life has to offer?
If you take a look at the common denominator in everything in your life it is: YOU.
Every opportunity, loss, win, breakdown, breakthrough, relationship, fight, agreement, circumstance, job, yes, no, in between…you are a part of it at some level.
Are some things out of your control, yes? But there is one thing that’s not: the perspective you choose.
You are the source of everything in your life and you can live fully during the moments in between the destinations you’re striving so hard to make it to and being so hard on yourself for not being at just yet.
This is not to place blame on you, this is to inspire you to take personal responsibility so you can step into your power, release self sabotage, and be all that you are meant to be.
We must not rely on the constantly changing to make us happy when we have the power to take personal responsibility for our part in all that we create in our life.
Tony Robbins teaches on the 6 innate human needs. We all have them no matter how superhuman we think we are:
Oftentimes when these needs aren’t met we look for sources outside of ourselves to satisfy them when we really have had the power to satisfy these needs for ourselves all along.
In the search outside of ourselves, who and what we attract into our life is being called in from a place of neediness or emptiness to supplement something that’s missing instead of a place of complimenting our wholeness and abundance.
In relationship: this oozes projection, neediness, fault finding, and looking to your partner to satisfy something instead of allowing them to show up fully as themselves.
In life: this equates to fleeting circumstantial happiness instead of true peace and trust that everything is going to work out just fine.
Satisfying your own needs will allow you to attract things that compliment your already whole life, instead of you leaching on to these ideals hoping to be filled up by getting them.
It’s your responsibility to fill yourself up instead of relying on someone or something else to do it.
Questions to support you in this: What pay off / need is your self sabotage satisfying? What pay off or need are you looking to satisfy by reaching goal or changing an external circumstance? How can you give yourself more of that and satisfy that need today?
2. Acknowledge How Far You’ve Come Instead of How Far You Have to Go
What you focus on expands. If you look at what’s not working, what’s going wrong, and how far you have to go it will be hard to find motivation to keep going and any action you take will come from that place of lack or “making up for” where you’re not. In this case, you’ll keep attracting circumstances and people into your life that match the same energy as lack, not having enough, needing more, feeling stuck etc
If you keep seeing the SAME thing show up time and time again there is a reason. You’ll literally keep recreating the same experience over and over until the lesson is learned and you shift your perspective / way of being.
Pema Chodron says, “Nothing goes away until it’s taught us what we need to know” and I’m with her all the way!
Right now, just by adjusting your perspective, your life could stay the exact same, and your entire experience of it could be different. That’s the power of focus. What’s cool is as you alter your focus, you’ll begin to attract and manifest things, people, opportunities and so on that match that vibration of abundance, gratitude, and forward motion (if that’s where you are focussing your energy and efforts).
There’s a ton of science to support this, but I’ll get to that in another post. For now, lets look for some proof in your current reality…
Ever notice that when things are going bad they feel like they keep going bad? Check your focus!
Ever notice how when things are going great the goodness keeps on coming? That’s because you’re focussing and putting your efforts on what’s working and keeping the momentum instead of how far you have to go!
Everyday Practice: At the end of every day write down 5 things you can acknowledge yourself for and 5 things that are working in your life! This will gradually shift your focus and retrain your brain to see what’s working over time.
3. Stop Placing Blame and Start Taking Personal Responsibility
As mentioned before you are the source of it all. How does blame and complaining truly serve you other than placing more focus on the negative? It doesn’t.
Here are some questions to support you in shifting from a victim mentality to a victor who has the power to create and be ANYTHING you choose:
How can you use your hardships as a chance to learn and grow?
How can you choose to see truth and/or the loving perspective over the fear?
How can you take a seemingly out of control circumstances and do what’s in your power to make the best of them?
How can you take small incremental action steps to shift YOUR circumstances?
4. Change Your Physiology and Act As If
Sounds simple but shifting and moving your body can completely change your hormones, neurotransmitters, and everything that’s responsible for your mood. Amy Cuddy breaks this down scientifically with a cool action step in this awesome TedX talk.
On top of this, as you EMBODY the change you want to create, you will begin to manifest it into your reality.
To support you in this…
How would a person who is “there” (insert desired outcome you want in your life) walk, talk, act, and move?
How would they interact with others?
How would they talk to and treat themselves?
How can you embody this today?
5. Forgive Yourself and Move On
You’ve done the best with what you’ve known up until this point and if you feel like you haven’t, how is it serving you to focus on that? When you think about it to you get motivated or does it drag you down?
Focus on what is working now and what you CAN do instead of what you haven’t done in the past.
Love yourself up, dust yourself off, acknowledge yourself for all you’ve accomplished and how far you’ve come, and… keep it moving.
6. Embrace The Journey and Trust the Process
One small consistent shift at a time will add up to MASSIVE results.
Enjoy the journey because the “theres” and accomplishments are fleeting. Real life happens in the messy in between so you might as well learn to savor every moment even when it doesn’t feel good.
Everything that is meant for you comes as it should and sometimes that looks like painful lessons but what you learn in those moments, and what you persist through in the moments where the internal noise is the loudest and tells you to stop, will be the most significant accomplishments of your life.
The human spirit is resilient AF. You totally got this.
Health & Love,
PS: If you’re ready to create a loving, balanced, and freedom fueled relationship with your body and food and leave binge and emotional eating behind for good, then click here to schedule a complimentary Strategy Call with myself or someone on my team! Lets do this!
Welcome to BeatingBingeEating.com! I’m Brittany Brown.
My goal is to transform the health and happiness of the world, starting with you. You were not put on this earth to struggle. I’m here to show you how to finally feel at home in your body and end your struggle with food and your body for good. This mission was born out of my own passion-driven breakdown. Here’s my story...Read More