Most parents have their children’s best interests at heart. But like the rest of us, parents are human beings who do the best they can every day. And we all have our moments.
About 75% of the women we work with at Beating Binge Eating have mothers or grandmothers who struggled with their body and their food.
And/or have fathers or grandfathers who sent messages about their appearances. (Things like dropping hints about losing weight, praising weight loss and being skinny, being “on track,” or getting “healthy” and more…)
Seeing these struggles and taking on these beliefs have plagued them all their lives, too.
They’re messages that have been passed down from generation to generation, wreaking havoc every step of the way.
These messages might have been unintentional. They might have even been well-intentioned. But either way, the impact of those early messages can’t be denied.
The more you see your mother struggling with food, the more you believe that food is an enemy.
The more you hear that your father say that you “need to lose weight,” the more you equate size with worthiness.
Whether those messages are conscious or not, their impact is powerful.
Does that mean that food and body struggles have to “run in the family” forever?
Of course not.
There’s something you can do to stop the food-body family struggles, starting NOW.
If you’re a mama, a mama-to-be, or a future mama, this is for you. Even if you don’t have a family, I bet you have kids in your life who look up to you. So this is for you, too!
Want the generational body-food war to end? Find out how to pass down messages and body love and food freedom instead of endless food struggles in the video below:
Now, if you’re a parent and you’re reading this, I know that you have your children’s best interests at heart. More than likely, your own parents wanted the best for you, too.
Of course, they might have conveyed some questionable body-food ideas when you were growing up. But that was probably because they were misinformed themselves.
Unfortunately, that misinformation most likely set you up for food struggles. Struggles that have likely stayed with you up until now.
In all fairness, though, it’s not your parents’ fault…
Damaging information and impossible standards are everywhere. From the diet industry to the fashion world to our own families, negative messages run rampant in our lives.
We all absorb these cultural signals, take them to heart, and build a belief system around them. We create belief systems that lead to actions like crazy restrictive dieting and relentless body shaming.
Then, of course, we pass them along to the young ones in our lives. Because we don’t know any other way.
Before you know it, you’re broadcasting your struggles, and children in your life notice. Not only do the kids take them on, they believe that they’re normal.
Most women (and men) who struggle with binging believe that they’re hiding it from their children. But the kids do notice when their parents behave strangely with food.
You might not think that your child sees you body-checking yourself in the mirror. Or dressing to cover up jiggly arms or thighs. But they pick up on the energy of dissatisfaction, and it makes an impression.
Children pick up on energy, feelings, and words. They notice what’s happening around them more than we realize. That means they take what the adults do as examples, and form beliefs around those examples.
If your children see you obsessing over food, binging on the sly. or hating the way you look, they’ll pick up on it.
When I was growing up, my mother did the best she could. She loved me dearly. She supported me. But her struggle with food was real and as she tried to help herself she tried to help me too.
She only meant to show me the methods she knew to break free. We tried diets together, pushed ourselves hard at the gym…
There were many other outside factors, but through this all I developed a pretty dysfunctional relationship with my body and food that lasted for nearly a decade.
Then a few years ago, the most amazing thing happened…
My mom healed her personal struggle through our own Beating Binge Eating program.
Her body released weight without trying. She freed herself from cravings and urges to binge. Now she feels free, happy, and fulfilled in her life, especially with her body and food.
That means she takes pictures with the family without fear of not looking right. We eat together without any food weirdness getting in the way. All those things that used to keep both of us stuck are distant memories now.
She has become a beacon of light in our community. She’s a shining example of everything that Food Freedom Forever stands for, and I couldn’t be more proud of her!
So no matter who you are or how long you’ve struggled, it is NEVER too late to heal your struggle. And when you do, you’ll also make an impact on the ones who come after you.
It’s also never too early to pass down loving and supportive messages and methods to your children.
No matter where you are in your journey, do what you can to instill positive messages in your. Show them examples of well-being, vitality, and happiness rather than shame, struggle, and pain.
That means start with treating yourself with kindness, respect, and love. Then show the children in your life how it’s done!
Now, I’m not saying that you have to be perfect. You don’t have to go from a wounded to healed body image overnight, or “fake it ‘til you make it.”
Just focus on healing yourself first, one step at a time. Then make an example of body and food-positive behaviors from there.
The key is to do things that make you feel good about yourself. Take steps to create an easy relationship with food, and cultivate body love.
Once you’ve started making positive changes in your life, you can be the change for others. That includes your children!
So take the steps. Do what you have to do. Not only will you heal yourself, but you’ll also impart supportive values to your kids.
If you don’t know what those steps are yet, that’s OK. We’re here to help! My free training will show you the way…
This training will show you the steps to create a peaceful relationship with food. Then you’ll be able to share what you’ve learned with the people you love the most!
We can end the generational struggle with food. It starts by making being a shining example for your children. This training will show you how to take that first step.
I know you’re an awesome parent, and you want the best for your children. So start by creating the best for yourself!
The best way to teach something is to live it. So start living a life of freedom with your body and your food, one step at a time.
Trust me, your children will notice–and they’ll create that freedom for themselves, too!
Now, tell me–what kind of example do you want to set for the children in your life? Leave me a comment and let me know. Let’s start making this generational shift happen together!