Part 1: Sarah’s Story
Sarah (name changed for privacy) came to me when she felt defeated, after she had tried it all, and was out of options. I was her “last resort” and after one conversation, there was no doubt in my mind that she was exactly where she needed to be. Now it was just a question of her being open to something different or not. I’ll let you know what she decided soon, and the insane thing that happened after she decided.
Her weight was up and down for years, and all she knew to do to try to “control” her weight was to attempt to “control” her eating. She had been successful with dieting before in terms of being able to lose the weight (she had gained it all back and more soon after though), so she kept going back to the familiar even though the familiar kept leading her down the same dark path.
I’ve been there too…
That place where you know you dieted successfully once before and think if you can just muster up the motivation, will power, and strength you can do it again, then again and again it never works.
Sarah tried it all…weight loss medicine, she tried hypnosis, personal training, working with a nutritionist, therapy…no one seemed to “get it”, but I did.
Sarah was so scared to jump into the unknown and release the control and restriction around her eating just like I was when I was in a similar struggle. Then the doctors, nutritionists, and personal trainers reaffirmed those fears when they would keep pushing her back towards the school of thought that her relationship with food could be mended through diet, workout, and keeping a motivated mindset (keep an eye on your inbox Thursday, I’m sharing a video training that breaks down exactly what could be setting you up to fail too. If you’re not subscribed, click here to subscribe so you don’t miss a thing.)
Knowing in her heart that there was something deeper, Sarah began to read books on overcoming binge and emotional eating. They’d say you have to allow any and all foods to work through this with no restriction what so ever, and that terrified her because she felt like the control was the one thing that kept her from eating all day, every day, and the only thing that accounted for her not gaining a massive amount of weight.
So she’d stay at it…she tried to control her food, she’d have a really “good” day, and then at night would she’d allow herself something small that was off limits during the day so she could incorporate a little bit of what the books said to into her daily routine. Once she started eating these forbidden foods she kept eating them, and eating, and then with a sense of “oh I already messed up I’m going to start back over tomorrow”, it’d turn into a full on binge.
The binges would feel almost out of body, like they’d happen automatically, and no tools that the therapists gave her seemed to do the trick in the moment of an urge. Once the fog lifted and the food coma wore off the guilt would set in. The shame would crush her, the thoughts that she was broken, that there was something wrong with her, that there was a part of her she needed to fix filled her mind. She thought…
If other people can do it, why can’t I?
Those people who have it easy with food just have a fast metabolism. I don’t so I always have to live like this.
Am I addicted to food? That’s the only thing that could explain this behavior after all this work…
And more defeating thoughts that kept her stuck…
She tied it to her emotions, so every time a binge would happen she’d analyze and try to look for answers. Oftentimes this lead to more emotional turmoil and feeling like a failure.
The next day Sarah would wake up, hands, eyes, and feet swollen from the event the night before, brain foggy, pants getting tighter and just feeling overall defeated, but determined to “get back on track”.
Every back on track day would start the cycle over. Sometimes it wasn’t every day, she could have moments where there’d be days in between her bingeing but she was white knuckling it the whole time.
There was no ease to her relationship with her body and food…there was pain, control, force, fear, and a sense of missing out on life.
Food thoughts controlled her mind…Confusion about what to eat, how to eat, what not to eat danced around daily. This kept her from living her life fully and showing up for her family completely.
She worried her daughter would see the behavior, and knew she had to change, but didn’t know how. She was determined to make every day different, but for some reason unknown to her, no matter how determined she was, something would pull her back into the pattern of binge and overeating, and she couldn’t figure out why.
After one call with Sarah, I saw it so clearly. I eased her mind, gave her clarity into exactly what was happening.
(In your inbox Thursday I’ll share with you exactly what was happening to Sarah so you can watch out for it in your own life. If you’re not yet on the list to get my best free trainings and weekly emails yet click here so you don’t miss a thing)
There were so many fears coming up for Sarah after our conversation. She wondered…
Was she going to be able to lose the weight with this approach?
Was she going to lose all control of herself around food and gain more weight?
Was she going to be able to follow through?
Did she really believe in herself to beat this thing since it had been a part of her for so long?
Sarah was skeptical, she trusted me but she felt like her case was different, like what worked for others may not work for her.
Sarah had a choice to make:
1) Go back to the familiar, the comfortable, the path that felt safe but lead her into this destructive cycle
2) Take another path. The one that was unknown and scary, with less control, less restriction, more trust, more faith, and proven results.
What would you choose?
Part 2: Sarah’s Choice
I was so surprised when she told me her decision: She told me she wasn’t ready.
I sat with Sarah and held space for what she was exploring internally. With no pressure of course, I asked a few questions.
The thing is, we are never ready. There’s rarely a “right time”, and always reasons why we can’t take the leap of faith but if we’re committed to growth and freedom as I knew Sarah was, we must. It’s that or stay stuck, and I knew that it was just Sarah’s fear that was keeping her stuck.
After a day or so Sarah reached back out, and then she decided to go for it. She promised me regardless of her fears she’d surrender into the process, and commit to herself and the Beating Binge Eating Blueprint Program fully.
So, Sarah jumped in. She hit the first week, and began to fuel her body from a place of love and nourishment. She was worried about gaining weight, but went for it anyway.
Then she learned how to dismiss her urges and reprogram them to become non-existent. Sarah had her power back in just two weeks.
Her binges stopped. Sarah felt what it was like to feel free.
The third week really shifted her perspective. We began to work on her relationship with her body, and then in the fourth we uncovered limiting beliefs that were standing between her and her happiness.
Sarah was stirred inside, but felt so good after not bingeing for a few weeks that she went against her better judgement and decided to step on the the scale. It hadn’t budged.
Sarah spiraled. After 4 weeks of work, not one pound lost. She started to question everything. Question the program. Question herself. Her beliefs about her case being different felt like they were reaffirmed.
She went back to restrictive eating…and all the negativity led to a binge. I noticed Sarah had pulled back from the support group so I reached out, and we got on a call to talk through it.
We uncovered that even though Sarah was going through the program and giving it her all, she was still one foot in one foot out belief wise. Meaning…Sarah always had in the back of her mind that this might not work out, that she might mess it up, that she might always live with binge eating and have to control her weight.
Little did she know, that even though she was going through the motions, these subconscious fears and lack of belief in herself were holding her back from fully surrendering into the process and truly experiencing lasting success.
That’s how beliefs work. Beliefs are the foundation for how we experience to world, and her beliefs were keeping her in the same defeating cycle over and over.
When you believe something like:
I don’t believe in myself to accomplish this… your brain begins to seek out experiences that affirm that belief, including having you act in ways that keep you at the same level of comfort you’re currently operating in.
Beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies. They make up the fabric of your existence.
After our breakthrough call, Sarah recommitted to breaking free. She promised me that no matter what fear came up, she’d reaffirm her truth and belief in herself and her process, and that’s when the magic happened.
She dismissed the negative self talk, ignored the urges to binge and restrict, began to focus on her wins, started to choose love over fear, embraced a relationship with her body and began to listen, fostered a sense of trust within herself, and her belief in herself grew.
And you’ll never believe what happened next…
Part 3: What Happened Next
Sarah surrendered. Without realizing it, in the first four weeks, she was approaching the program like she had approached diets she had in the past…rigor, control, force, pushing, all or nothing…
While I commend Sarah’s commitment to herself and the program, she was placing so much unnecessary pressure on herself to be “perfect”. We uncovered she was feeling that she needed to get everything just right when it’s actually quite the opposite…
There’s no perfect. There’s just discovering what works for each individual and reconnecting them to their power.
In that place anything is possible…including sustainable weight loss and a normal, easy, and loving relationship with one’s body and food.
Underneath the control and strive for perfection, there was also an intense fear about not losing weight and that fear and lack of belief in herself affected her behavior. Even at times when she would think she wasn’t restricting, she’d still be worried about not getting things just right and about her body not releasing the weight.
This did a number of things to her results, and I’ll share what those are and how you can avoid them in Thursdays video. Subscribe HERE if you haven’t already so you don’t miss it.
With all of Sarah’s pushing, controlling, and fighting mentally and emotionally, even though she was physically going through the motions her body was holding on to everything and pushing right back.
When Sarah surrendered, tapped into her internal guidance system, learned to trust and believe in herself, and truly trust the process her body surrendered too.
Sarah began to meet, nourish, and honor her body and her body honored her in return.
This process is not about weight loss, however I will share with you what happened to Sarah’s weight since that was a significant concern of hers and may be for you too.
Sarah’s weight released. Over the next few weeks it was 10 pounds, and she’s been out of the program about 4 months and though she’s not weighing herself, she had to weigh herself at the doctors and there was a 17 pound loss.
The Doctor asked what she was doing and she said: “I stopped dieting.” He looked puzzled, and she just smiled back. She said it was one of the most surreal moments she had experienced because weighing herself at her Doctor’s was a really scary experience prior to this.
When one stops focussing on the weight, and truly begins to love, honor, and accept their body as is if there’s weight to release, the weight ends up taking care of itself.
Your body will find it’s happy place when you give it what it needs to find it, just like Sarah’s did.
On top of that and even more importantly, Sarah’s relationship with food and her body dramatically changed.
She began to feel “normal” around food, had ease in eating when she was hungry and stopping when she was full, and enjoyed a variety of foods including those she had labeled as “forbidden” before without losing control around them.
She began to look at her body from a place of love instead of criticism and hate and began to work with her body instead of against it.
This allowed her to start living her life fully without worries and fears around food or her body.
She started going on trips, saying YES to dinners and experiences she would had previously said no to, and she began to feel free.
Today, four months later, that freedom keeps growing and now she’s digging deep into different passions in her life that light her up and connecting to her purpose.
I’m so proud of Sarah. I believed in her every step of the way, and I believe in you too.
This work is about so much more than just food, it’s about life. If you’re reading this, know that you are so much bigger than whatever it is that you’re going through.
Know that you aren’t broken, that there’s nothing to fix, that you’re just disconnected from your power and you have the ability to reconnect and get unstuck any time you choose to.
Once you make the commitment to dismantle the wall that’s standing between you are your power…Your life, the life of your loved ones, and the world will be forever changed.
One person’s freedom can create a massive impact on the world just through the positive ripple effect in the lives of those they touch around them, and yours can too.
You are so worth it!
On Thursday I’m going to be releasing a video training breaking down why Sarah achieved success, and how you can in your life too.
Click here to subscribe if you haven’t already, so you don’t miss the free video training breaking down exactly what Sarah did that led her to food freedom forever™!
Health & Love,
PS: If you don’t want to wait for the video, and want to start your journey to food freedom forever today, let’s jump on a call and explore how we can make freedom from your struggle with your body and food a possibility for you.
Reserve your spot here: BeatingBingeEating.com/strategy-call